After taking several days to sort through my emotions and seek the counsel of our church elders and friends, I have come to see the news that we may not be able to adopt "D" as a comfort from God. I keep reminding myself that if God had not prompted us to inquire about the kids' adoption status, siblings and health issues, we would have found out when we got to our SDA appointment. Considering how the world crashed around us last week, I can't imagine learning such news without having the immediate support of our friends and our church. While the news that she is probably not going to be our daughter is devastating, God has softened the blow and allowed us to grieve and for loved ones to gather around us before we leave for Ukraine.
I have considered "D" to be my daughter for over a year and as a father, I have not given up. I hope to ask for special consideration that we can still adopt her when we get to our SDA appointment. If the answer is no, I will accept it as God's will. If the answer is yes, then I will witness a miracle. Either way, I will rejoice in God's love and mercy.
"As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful." James 5:10,11
Kevin
About Me
- Kevin and Pam
- Kevin and I have been married for 19 years. We have two heart grown children from the United States,adopted at birth, Garrett 16 and Morgan 14, one heart grown child from Ukraine in 2008, Justin age 13. We also have two dogs, Mattie and Halley, adopted from the local animal shelter. Adoption is close to our family's heart.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
New To The Blog World!
We hope you notice the new link to the "Clark Connection" on the side bar of our blog. They have just set up their blog. They are a wonderful family who go to our church and have become great friends. They have submitted their dossier on August 11Th and are also waiting for a travel date. Please take the time to show them your support by reading their blog. I am sure you will be blessed. Our family has been blessed just by getting to know them and praying for our adoptions together.
God has blessed us with a three families who have been part of our support system during this long process of adoption. We have formed an adoption support group. We have been able to support each other through the ups and downs of adoption. God has also blessed our family with an amazing church family. We feel so loved by them. We know they are praying us through this process.
After the stress of this past week, we have thought twice about having our other two Garrett and Morgan, join us in Ukraine. If we are to look for a little girl to be part of our family, we may have to do extensive driving around to find her. The costs would be considerably more to bring them also. We are feeling that it might not be our best option. Please pray God will give us peace as to what we should do. Please pray God will provide a family or families to help us out while we are gone for the three weeks. That is a long time to leave our kids, not to mention a long time for someone else to be responsible for them! We thank you for your prayers and kind words.
Pam
God has blessed us with a three families who have been part of our support system during this long process of adoption. We have formed an adoption support group. We have been able to support each other through the ups and downs of adoption. God has also blessed our family with an amazing church family. We feel so loved by them. We know they are praying us through this process.
After the stress of this past week, we have thought twice about having our other two Garrett and Morgan, join us in Ukraine. If we are to look for a little girl to be part of our family, we may have to do extensive driving around to find her. The costs would be considerably more to bring them also. We are feeling that it might not be our best option. Please pray God will give us peace as to what we should do. Please pray God will provide a family or families to help us out while we are gone for the three weeks. That is a long time to leave our kids, not to mention a long time for someone else to be responsible for them! We thank you for your prayers and kind words.
Pam
Friday, August 22, 2008
Conversations with Morgan
"Mommy, I hope we can adopt D." Morgan had big tears in her eyes. "I do too", I said. "We have to keep praying God will do a miracle." "I have been, Mommy." "I have been praying my whole life for a little sister." "I know honey." "Maybe God will give you a different little sister if D. isn't the one." "But she was my little buddy."
Adoption is hard. I can't describe it any other way. It was hard before we had kids and began adopting and it is even harder now having older kids who have to be involved in the process with us. I can only hope Garrett and Morgan will see how much we love them through all of this. I hope they can see what a gift they are to us. I used to tell them when they were babies, "You are my little present from Jesus." I realize what a privilege God gave me, by allowing me to raise these babies. With all my imperfections, He blessed me with them. If He chooses to bless us with more, I am all the more honored!
God is good all the time! I know this.
Romans 5:1-5 Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Pam
Adoption is hard. I can't describe it any other way. It was hard before we had kids and began adopting and it is even harder now having older kids who have to be involved in the process with us. I can only hope Garrett and Morgan will see how much we love them through all of this. I hope they can see what a gift they are to us. I used to tell them when they were babies, "You are my little present from Jesus." I realize what a privilege God gave me, by allowing me to raise these babies. With all my imperfections, He blessed me with them. If He chooses to bless us with more, I am all the more honored!
God is good all the time! I know this.
Romans 5:1-5 Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character, and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Pam
Thursday, August 21, 2008
A Closed Door
I barely slept last night. I think I was trying to process all of my emotions. I am not very good at articulating them. It does help to try.
We woke up this morning to an e-mail that said the SDA will not consider D. as "Special Needs" and they will not separate sibling groups. This is appearing to us as a closed door. My heart breaks! We have loved this child for a year, imagined her as part of our family, dreamt about her growing up with us and then everything changes in a day! The hardest part is going to be seeing her when we go to Ukraine to get V. Somehow, we will have to tell D. we can't take her too. How do you tell an eight year old "Sorry you have a brother and Papa is a year too old to adopt him"? Please pray God will provide another family who can take D. and her little brother. I know God loves D. far more than I ever could. He will be her "Daddy and Mommy" right now. She is part of His very heart. I really wanted to be her Mommy. I know Kevin really wanted to be her Daddy. Garrett wanted to be her brother and Morgan wanted to be her big sister, God has other plans. I always knew adoption takes many twists and turns but this wasn't a turn I expected or could have prepared myself for.
Our SDA appointment will be coming up soon... We barely have time to grieve our loss. We are faced with decisions we need to be thinking about now. We are approved for two children. Even though D. cannot be replaced, there are many children who need homes. Does God have someone else for us? Did God use D. and V. to open us up to going to Ukraine? We never would have gone this direction without them. Please pray for our family as we continue walking through this journey. Please pray God will keep us flexible and open to His will and not our own desires.
Psalm 23 quiets my soul today. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads my beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
Pam
We woke up this morning to an e-mail that said the SDA will not consider D. as "Special Needs" and they will not separate sibling groups. This is appearing to us as a closed door. My heart breaks! We have loved this child for a year, imagined her as part of our family, dreamt about her growing up with us and then everything changes in a day! The hardest part is going to be seeing her when we go to Ukraine to get V. Somehow, we will have to tell D. we can't take her too. How do you tell an eight year old "Sorry you have a brother and Papa is a year too old to adopt him"? Please pray God will provide another family who can take D. and her little brother. I know God loves D. far more than I ever could. He will be her "Daddy and Mommy" right now. She is part of His very heart. I really wanted to be her Mommy. I know Kevin really wanted to be her Daddy. Garrett wanted to be her brother and Morgan wanted to be her big sister, God has other plans. I always knew adoption takes many twists and turns but this wasn't a turn I expected or could have prepared myself for.
Our SDA appointment will be coming up soon... We barely have time to grieve our loss. We are faced with decisions we need to be thinking about now. We are approved for two children. Even though D. cannot be replaced, there are many children who need homes. Does God have someone else for us? Did God use D. and V. to open us up to going to Ukraine? We never would have gone this direction without them. Please pray for our family as we continue walking through this journey. Please pray God will keep us flexible and open to His will and not our own desires.
Psalm 23 quiets my soul today. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads my beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me.
Pam
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Heavy Hearts
Our hearts are so heavy, I don't know where to begin. Things come to mind like "We do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." Ephesians 6:12 The battles isn't ours to win! Anyone going through this process will I am sure agree that Satan doesn't want these kids to come to a Christian home. A home where they will hear the gospel and possibly become Christians. He knows they are no threat to him, when they are stuffed away in an orphanage.
We got word today that the little girl we so want to adopt will not be available for us unless God performs a miracle. She has a five year old brother that apparently no one was aware of until we asked last week. Once we got over the shock of that, we found out that we would not be able to adopt him because Ukraine has a law that you can't be more that 45 years older than the child. Kevin happens to be one year older than that. They also will not split up a sibling group. The kids are in two different orphanages. I am not sure they have had much contact with each other so we are hoping that the authorities will consider splitting them. We have done everything we can to afford two adoptions, three would take another miracle. We were also told you don't want to adopt D anyway, she is "slow" and "doesn't do well in school". We had her in our home last summer for three weeks. We did notice she was quiet, shy and fragile. She responded well to love and attention. We don't care that she may not be an "A" student. She is perfect in our eyes. Our last hope and our prayer is that maybe the government will consider her "special needs" and allow her to have a family. A five year old has a much better chance of being adopted than an eight year old with special needs. We do want what is best for her and her brother. We are waiting now and praying that God will direct us and open and close doors. We will walk through this journey without fear because HE WILL WIN THE BATTLE! If we aren't the right family, please pray God will find a family willing and able to take "D" and her brother.
Pam
We got word today that the little girl we so want to adopt will not be available for us unless God performs a miracle. She has a five year old brother that apparently no one was aware of until we asked last week. Once we got over the shock of that, we found out that we would not be able to adopt him because Ukraine has a law that you can't be more that 45 years older than the child. Kevin happens to be one year older than that. They also will not split up a sibling group. The kids are in two different orphanages. I am not sure they have had much contact with each other so we are hoping that the authorities will consider splitting them. We have done everything we can to afford two adoptions, three would take another miracle. We were also told you don't want to adopt D anyway, she is "slow" and "doesn't do well in school". We had her in our home last summer for three weeks. We did notice she was quiet, shy and fragile. She responded well to love and attention. We don't care that she may not be an "A" student. She is perfect in our eyes. Our last hope and our prayer is that maybe the government will consider her "special needs" and allow her to have a family. A five year old has a much better chance of being adopted than an eight year old with special needs. We do want what is best for her and her brother. We are waiting now and praying that God will direct us and open and close doors. We will walk through this journey without fear because HE WILL WIN THE BATTLE! If we aren't the right family, please pray God will find a family willing and able to take "D" and her brother.
Pam
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Pins & Needles
Our submission has been with SDA for almost a week and we are on pins and needles waiting for our appointment date. We wake up every morning and rush to the computer to check our e-mail. We scour the mail through the coupons and credit card offers for a letter with a foreign stamp. It's kind of like sending boxtops when you were a kid and waiting for the cereal company to send you the prize.
In the meantime, like Pam said in her previous post, I am consumed with the desire to spruce up the house, especially the kids rooms. I work with a smile on my face imagining their faces when we walk into the orphanage, holding them in my arms, hearing the judge approve of the adoption and all of us getting on the plane to come home. I pray that the reality will match the dream.
Psalm 146:17-19 "The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His deeds. The Lord is near all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them."
Kevin
In the meantime, like Pam said in her previous post, I am consumed with the desire to spruce up the house, especially the kids rooms. I work with a smile on my face imagining their faces when we walk into the orphanage, holding them in my arms, hearing the judge approve of the adoption and all of us getting on the plane to come home. I pray that the reality will match the dream.
Psalm 146:17-19 "The Lord is righteous in all His ways and kind in all His deeds. The Lord is near all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He will also hear their cry and will save them."
Kevin
Friday, August 8, 2008
Submission Accomplished!
We have confirmation that our dossier has been submitted. Now once again, we wait... Within a three week period we should know if we get travel dates. In the meantime, I have been reading other blogs and seeing travel dates within one week of submission and then traveling within six weeks! Please keep praying God will open those doors as soon as possible.
It is a very exciting time right now. It is also time to get serious about all the things we need to prepare for. I think Kevin is more in a nesting mode than me. He keeps wanting to remodel! We are waiting prepare the kids rooms until we get word we are actually going. I wanted to start months ago but Kevin didn't think it was wise to invest in bedroom furniture we might not actually need....he is so practical!
The time should go by fast. School starts on Monday. We will begin our routine again to fill our time. We are starting early this year to make up for the time we will lose while in Ukraine. Another prayer request would be, that we can take Garrett and Morgan with us. If anyone has experience with this, any input would be helpful. They are 12 and 10 years old. I think it would be a great life experience for them and helpful in bonding with their new siblings.
Pam
It is a very exciting time right now. It is also time to get serious about all the things we need to prepare for. I think Kevin is more in a nesting mode than me. He keeps wanting to remodel! We are waiting prepare the kids rooms until we get word we are actually going. I wanted to start months ago but Kevin didn't think it was wise to invest in bedroom furniture we might not actually need....he is so practical!
The time should go by fast. School starts on Monday. We will begin our routine again to fill our time. We are starting early this year to make up for the time we will lose while in Ukraine. Another prayer request would be, that we can take Garrett and Morgan with us. If anyone has experience with this, any input would be helpful. They are 12 and 10 years old. I think it would be a great life experience for them and helpful in bonding with their new siblings.
Pam
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Prayers, Prayers, PLEASE!
If you could all start praying now! August 7 is tonight in the Ukraine (an 11 hour time difference). Please pray that our paperwork is accepted without error and looked upon favorably. Please pray that we will get a quick appointment.
I just read on someones blog that the SDA is expediting appointments for known and older children. They submitted their paperwork on July 18 and have an August 28 appointment in Ukraine. WOW! This could happen to us too. Wouldn't that be great???!!!!
Thank you so much for reading our blog and following our journey. We covet your prayers.
Psalm 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all Your works.
Pam
I just read on someones blog that the SDA is expediting appointments for known and older children. They submitted their paperwork on July 18 and have an August 28 appointment in Ukraine. WOW! This could happen to us too. Wouldn't that be great???!!!!
Thank you so much for reading our blog and following our journey. We covet your prayers.
Psalm 73:28 But it is good for me to draw near to God; I have put my trust in the Lord GOD, that I may declare all Your works.
Pam
Monday, August 4, 2008
So Blessed!
People may think we are crazy but I think we are so blessed! I find it amazing how God has done a mighty work in our family over this past year. I think about all the blessings we would have missed if we said "no". Some people say the kids are the blessed ones but I disagree. I believe God will continue to mold us into His own image through the trials and blessings of these children. I encourage you to watch the video I just uploaded called the "Gift of Adoption". I think it says so much about the blessings of adoption.
Pam
Pam
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