A Bittersweet Reunion

Today was probably one of the most draining days I have ever had.  We went to the local offical's office in Belgorod to get the letter we needed to visit the orphanage.  Our SDA referral letter had not only "V's" name on it but "D's" name too.  We let the lady know we couldn't go further with "D" because of her brother. The official then broke the news that "D" has TWO brothers.  She said she thought it would be in the best interest of "D" to be adopted by us instead of waiting for her and her brothers to be adopted together, which got our hopes up again.  She said she would make some calls to the region where "D" was born and check with the officials.  If they agreed and the director of the orphange agreed, then "D" could be separated from her brothers and we would be able to adopt her too.  We went to the orphange and met with the director who also agreed it would be in "D's" best interest.  She said she wanted us to visit with her too since "V" and "D" were in the same group.  

After finding out all of the kids backgrounds and medical history, the kids came in and greeted us.  They both jumped into our arms with excitement!  It was like we never missed a moment with them.  They grabbed our hands and off they took us to show us where they live.  After about an hour with high hopes in my heart, we received a call from our interpreter that the region where "D" was born said that they will not separate the children.  My heart is being torn out of my chest and I am dealing with all the emotions all over again.  We did not pursue this again and I have a hard time understanding it all.  I do know it made a difference to "D" to feel that love from us again.

"V" just could not stop talking about his Papa.  He is a boy who really needs a Papa!  He kept pointing out Kevin's muscles and saying that "Papa is very strong!"  It was great to see them both today.  We will continue to see "D" I am sure.  I don't know who or how the news that we can not bring her back with us is going to happen.  I do feel that we did everything in our power to try and give it our best shot with her.  I am not questioning God's sovereignty I am just feeling sad.  She has had a very hard life in a very short period of time and I hate to have to disappoint her again.  Please pray that God will allow her to have a family someday even if that family can't be us.

Adoption is not for the faint-hearted.  These kids are our fourth and fifth attempts.  We have been taken to the breaking point everytime and lost one between Garrett and Morgan.  God has used this process to bring us to our knees in total dependence on Him whenever we think that we are in control.  We need to rejoice both when The Vinedresser prunes us and when He grafts a new branch to our family.  We are sure that He will explain it all to us someday.